The Good and Bad of Friends with Benefits

It started out as friends or acquaintances, both of you are physically attracted to one another but are emotionally unavailable. I am sure majority of you know what this means, I am talking about SF – also known as SEX FRIENDS or whatever fancy term you give it like, FF – also known as F*ck Friends.

Friends with benefits is an agreement between 2 people to have casual sex occasionally without having to pursue a serious committed relationship. The idea of having a SF, it is definitely fun with no strings attached but sometimes it is not as SIMPLE as you think it is. Check out these PROS AND CONS and a few tips before you decide.

The GOOD side

-NO SERIOUS COMMITMENT- Whether you are in your 20’s or 30’s and relationship/marriage is the LAST thing you want, this is probably the positive point for you.  Without any pressure or any kind of commitment and the both of you know what exactly you are going into then using one another would be enjoyable.

The DOWN side

-CATCH FEELINGS-  When one of you develop feelings, things WILL change. When one person gets too attached and start to want more out of the FWB (Friends with Benefits) can really destroy the relationship. Worse part if the other half feels differently, he/she will definitely get hurt. Many people believe that Women are the ones who typically gets more attached than Men but if the sexual relationship goes on long enough, emotions make their debut for the Men too. Jealousy starts when one of you start dating someone else seriously too. True that, emotions are sometimes HARD to be separated from SEX but if you are in for FWB, this is what you have to handle.


It is always better when one of you lay down some ground rules and be honest with one another with your intentions. That’s to avoid any misunderstanding. One of the keys to a successful SF relationship is to be discreet about your relationship.  Trust me, he/she won’t be too happy if they know you were bragging about it to your friends and the thing is how would you know they won’t kiss and tell? We will always tell a handful of people. Am I not right to say that?

The GOOD side

-GET DOWN TO BUSINESS-  The conveniences of just calling/texting one another for sex without having to go through fancy dates, buying her drinks or impressing one another. Perfect for those who has no time for a serious romance. Plus minus the drama in a relationship because you know it is not a REAL relationship!


Don’t expect he/she to call all the time or introduce you to his/her friends. You have to know that all the common relationship courtesy’s don’t apply. Being friends with benefits, RESPECT plays a part too. Don’t be too insistent if he/she is not available.

The DOWN side

-FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER BE THE SAME- You must understand that your relationship will never be the same again. Once you have seen one another naked, you have definitely crossed the physical line. Therefore the dynamic of the friendship is not the same like the others. Might even ruin the friendship if there is a huge dispute between you two.


Avoid being SF with a close friend.

The GOOD side

-LEVEL OF COMFORT- You can be as fun as WILD as you want without worrying how he/she thinks of you and especially in bed. Like I mentioned before, one of the good points of being SF is you don’t have to TRY to impress one another! That doesn’t mean you should be lazy in dressing up or when it comes to actions in bed.

The DOWN side

-AWKWARDNESS IN PUBLIC- What happens when you guys are invited to the same mutual friend’s party and saw one another but not sure how to act? It definitely gets awkward. Girls starts hanging around him. I believe awkwardness + jealousy not a very good combo. This applies to Guys as well.


Don’t become territorial. You guys are not in a serious relationship. If you’re possessive by nature then I suggest you drop the SF idea. Always remember to draw a clear line between you two, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Having a sex friend is fun if you both are CLEAR on your intentions and some level of care for each other’s well beings. Otherwise, it can set your heart on FIRE if you’re not careful. So think twice before you put your BODY out there.

Love y’all xoxo, Claris Callista


4 responses to “The Good and Bad of Friends with Benefits

  1. Firstly, its not all that easy to even find someone who want’s to be SF or FF relationship. Most of the time it’s someone seeking sex outside marriage because he/she isn’t satisfied sexually. Single’s are mostly looking to get into a relationship not have a bang and leave. Plus, no matter what…there will be feelings for the partner even if you 2 are not tied together in any way. Other wise you wouldn’t have jumped in the sack with him/her in the 1st place. So, 1 secret is to go to the same places or mingle with similar friends but never disrespect the other or tell untruths or lies about them to “real” interested parties if someone wants more info about your SF. They’re not going to know you 2 are seeing each other in bed. Be a friend first.

  2. Pingback: Friendship, Romance and Sex | Free Everything·

  3. Very insightful.

    Could you do one about best friends becoming boyfriends/girlfriends and vice versa?

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