Is Living With Your Partner Before Marriage A Good Idea?

Moving in with your partner is a BIG STEP. If you’re in a committed relationship now and your partner is asking if you would want to move in together, there are some thinking to do before taking the plunge.

Yes I know, living together can be EXCITING and FUN. It may be also convenient as to compared living separately and sometime will often work out cheaper as well. However, it is very important for couples to think through thoroughly as to LIVING TOGETHER AS A COUPLE even if you guys are getting along very well.

THINGS YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE MOVING IN TOGETHER 

The things you will need to think about when you move in with your partner may vary depending on your age and other personal circumstances.

1) Ground Rules 

Living together involves a lot of compromising and understanding between couples. There’s no question at this point that living together is a decision not to be taken lightly. So you may want to lay down some ground rules if you’re moving in together. For example :

  • Concerns about cleanliness, chores, general upkeep, or even who’s welcome when you’re not there, you’d better talk now.
  • Whether to ask your partner before inviting friends to stay.
  • Whether you will have any pets.
  • Whether you should phone your partner to let her/him know if you are going to be home late
  • If there’s a need to have dinner TOGETHER every night.

If you’re afraid this will create tension, then think twice about living together.

2) Financial Issues 

If you think you’ll feel resentful picking up your partner’s financial slack, then don’t choose a place beyond their means. You will also need to discuss with your partner how you will divide up the financial responsibilities of renting or owning a home.

  • Rent or mortgage
  • Domestic bills (for example, gas, electricity, telephone)
  • Day-to-day living expenses (for example, food and cleaning products).

If your partner insists on paying more than you can afford, then say, “OK, but let’s agree, right now, that if you start feeling resentful about money, we’ll know it’s not working.”

p.s  If you’re relying on a man to help you out financially, good luck living that one down.

3) Maintain Your Independency 

Moving in doesn’t simply mean you should stop living independently. Nothing is more unattractive than a person being dependent on another being. Especially to your own partner.

  • Separate experiences and friendships are what make you unique.
  • If you’ve decided to move in together, don’t forget to have your ‘ME’ time.
  • Keep your own life even after the move.
P.s  If you lose what you enjoy, you lose yourself.
4) Stake A Claim 

Now, if you’re moving into your partner’s place think about how you might want to have your say or put your own personal stamp on his/her place. For an example :

  • Discuss about some decorations, new items, desk , shared wardrobe etc.

If you encounter resistance, pay close attention: how is this going to be a shared space if you can’t bring something of yourself to it?

5) Cohabitation Contracts

This may sound a bit serious for the couple but it is absolutely necessary for both  to have a sit down and talk about it. It is a good idea to formalise your living arrangements to avoid any disagreements about what should happen if you guys were to split up.

  • What rights you each will have to stay in the home if you split up.
  • What rights you will have to any shared belongings (for example, furniture or a car) if you split up.

Personally, I think drawing up a contract will make you think through the issues you’ll be facing as a couple and could help you avoid future arguments over bills and other domestic responsibilities.

6) What Options Are There?

There are various options for living together, such as:

  • Getting a new place together – either renting accommodation or buying a home.
  • Moving into your partner’s home.

Whatever you decide to do, you should consider what rights you will have in the accommodation. This depends on your circumstances.

Working Hard On Your Relationship

Including making a clear commitment,  is probably the best predictor of success, whether you start that work before or after you’ve chosen to live under the same roof.

So before you get that extra key made, THINK ABOUT IT.

Smelly socks and afternoon delight are one thing…
But trust me, your relationship… will NEVER BE THE SAME.

Let me know what you think about this or share your experiences!

xo, Claris Callista 

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